The family is a complex organisation to deal with. At some point, parents were also children. What sort of background dominated their past? Was their upbringing excellent? What about parents that were torn at childhood? Will their actions towards their children be characterized by the way their own parents or guardians modelled them?

Upbringing is a complex process of continuation of life. In so many instances, a poorly brought up child may decide not to let any of his seed pass through his experience. What system will such a parent adopt in raising his own children? Because fear is the catalyst, it is highly likely that there will be confusion in the method to be used. An individual that has passed through a period of immense poverty will be afraid or decide not to let his children experience it. Such a parent is likely to blindly pursue wealth in order to establish a comfortable environment for his children and in the end, the result might be a troubled family.

A comfortable home is not the same with a happy one. The wrongful motive for the pursuit of material things has often caused a lot of problems to the pursuant.

Whatever the upbringing of a parent is, he must thrive to bring up his children under the banner of love and security, to ensure a good future for them.

The major problem that parents face in giving love and security to their children is “Inappropriate affection”, which is common among overprotective parents. It ruins many a child. The parents are always doing the wrong things, believing it to be love! Taking sides with their children even when they are wrong, or loading them with more toys than they can play with in multiple lifetimes, buying too much candies, giving them a lot of money etc. All these are not near as important as spending quality time with the child. Material things are what we desire temporarily, because they are always changing!

What every individual desires is the unchanging, the everlasting, “time and love”. If you give your time, love, and some security to anybody, you are sure to have that person’s loyalty.

Human beings generally need to be loved and feel loved, but when there is no solid foundation, which must start from the grassroots, whatever we do will be futile, as it will be superficial.

Whatever is happening to an individual, there will definitely be a link to his background or past. What we make of our today, including foundation for our children, will be what our tomorrow will bring. Charity begins at home!

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that we should be wretched and poor, and stay with our children till they grow up. Security means money too. Just don’t be blind in it’s pursuit by giving it all your time, thinking that is the only thing your family needs from you!

To be continued…

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